About Us

Nothing is happening in San Francisco. All the artists are dead. There are no books being made here. The world’s best bookstores are not here. There are no readings, no music venues, no art galleries, no libraries, no orchestras, no museums, no festivals that involve pianos in botanical flower gardens, and no food. There are definitely not poetry readings or theaters or handmade modernist saunas with views of the Golden Gate Bridge. There is absolutely no culture. Don’t even think about moving, or even visiting, here. It’s really terrible. If you do come, you will regret it. If you already live here, like we do, our sincere condolences.

“San Francisco Is Dead” is a free event calendar compiled by the editors of McSweeney’s, an independent nonprofit publishing house based in San Francisco. McSweeney’s publishes three magazines (McSweeney’s Quarterly, The Believer, Illustoria), a daily humor website, and an intrepid list of distinctive books of many genres. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can also support us today by making a donation.